So, I've got to confront Dad about moving out. I just don't know how to do it, or when to do it.
Should i invite him to dinner and thank him for letting me live with him for almost a year and then break him the news then?
Should I tell him at home as I'm leaving?
Should Bobby be with me when I tell him?
I just don't know what would be the best way to tell him. There is no best way though...
If Bobby's with me he will probably yell at him and possibly try to hurt him. But, if he's not with me, Dad might try to hurt me, of course he will yell too, he'll probably accuse me of pregnancy, and he'll break down crying. He'll probably think Bobby's a coward for not being with me when i tell him.
I know my telling him of my new future will hurt him terribly. But, he doesn't know me at all. I'm not who I am around him. It's driving me nuts!
I'm afraid he might stalk me to figure out what apartment building i'm in and keep bothering me about all of this. Or make threats.
He's might tell me i'm a whore and that i'm going to hell for this. But i honestly don't give a damn what he thinks of me. He's an idiot who doesn't understand anything about life. >_<
I just don't know what to do!! I could be moving out on Saturday. (If not, Monday). What am I going to do? I don't have a good plan about all of this. >_<
I still would like to be friends with Dad and actually be honest about everything in my life, but...he will never understand and he will start badgering me about how terrible it is that I've been gambling, that i've been having sex, that i'm moving in with Bobby, that i've drunken alcohol before.
Why can't he just be mature and understand that this is how my life is???!
I'm afriad of what he might do....
I would give advice, but I honestly don't know which is the best way to handle it. Sorry I'm not much of a help, but I love you and hope it all goes well-ish. Can't expect more than that.
ReplyDeleteThe problem with our relations with Dad is that we've all felt physically threatened by him at one time or another. This is really hard Julie and I didn't know what to tell you yesterday on the phone. Thinking about it now though, personally, if I were you I'd probably move out and then immediately write a short letter telling him the truth and explaining why I didn't think I could tell him in person. And I would mention some of the things that you've written in this entry. How you were afraid of what he would think of you and of the way he would react if you told him in person by yourself or with Bobby there. And then mail it within a week of your moving, because you KNOW he will want to come visit your new place to see it pretty soon after you leave. That's the best I can think of. He deserves to know, he shouldn't be lied to, and I feel really awful that we are all privy to this news of yours and that he is in the dark. It's the way it has always had to be with him, but it still really sucks :(
ReplyDeleteMost important though, is to get all of your stuff out of there before telling him.
I'll be thinking about you Julie... a lot. Good luck and I'll be in touch.
thanks nikki! i'll do my best!
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