Animal Farm

Well...since I'm bored...and the previous blog was random...I might as well talk about my review over Animal Farm. Yes--I did finish it!! yay 2 of 12 books complete! :D

***WARNING: SPOILER***So, this book made me hate pigs. I was so angry at the end of the book how they were standing upright on their hind legs, and began to wear HUMAN CLOTHES! ugggh!!! Damn animals were so stupid. Who cares if the pigs are "smart"--they shouldn't get special treatment. It's the animals fault for allowing Napoleon to take control. Snowball was the true spirit of Animal Farm, damn communism...its got a good thought, but whoever is in power will never treat the people equally. Good book, very provoking.

*Runs over to my bookcase to pick out the next book to read for March!!**

Hmm, yes, I think I shall read....

Watchmen, by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons. It is a graphic novel that was turned into a movie last year. So many people were reading this book at the theatre last year. I think I'll give it a try :). I heard it's awesome and entertaining. ;P

St. Patrick's Day

Just got them in the mail today!! :) :) :) :) :) I'M EXCITED! ON THE FLOOR IN FRONT OF MUSE!!! :D

So, here's some random pictures of me from the other day...I just felt like posting it.

With my crummy glasses....I really need a new prescription

Bobby and I...his face looks like he's a porcelain doll..haha. :P

hmmm I'm bored....I hope everyone's having a great thursday! :P Call me if you're up...I'm bored. and I want to talk :D

Distrought

I was Distrought!!

Hahaha...no but seriously...

Do any of you get in a weird funk where all you can do is feel depressed, stressed, angry, and cry all the time???

That's how I've been feeling for over a week now. And its hurting our relationship.... I can tell Bobby's getting tired of my sulking/crying/anger all the time. I can't help it though, I can't crack a smile for him...I just feel so smothered over by life being so repetitive, stupid, pointless, and I'm so angry and stressed over work. I had to work 52 hours this week and I had two exams and a paper...which I know I failed one of them. What the hell is wrong with me? Someone told my boss at work that I'm really upset with my job and how I'm thinking about quitting. So now I have to have a meeting with him when he gets back from vacation next week to explain why I'm feeling this way and why i'm thinking about quitting when I'm on the "high potential" list on the talent board. UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everyday i wake up and I say to myself, I just shouldn't go in today and quit. Screw them over. I really don't give a shit. I'm going to a job fair tomorrow to set up an interview with Best Buy...I hope I get a job there..but then again, I'm afraid that when I transfer to a different company, that my pay rate will lower to the point that Bobby and I can't afford our bills any more.

I feel like being lazy all the time and not doing anything about all the work I have to do. I feel like if I don't shut it out I will go insane. I think I need time off to really figure out what the hell I'm going to do..if i'm going to quit...or stick it out. I keep telling myself that I'm 19 years old...that I shouldn't have to feel like this. I should be care free and only have to worry about homework. But I'm sitting here, stressing and feeling hateful about work, getting stressed at school b/c I don't get enough sleep and can't get my homework done, and having to worry about my relationship with Bobby. I just want to pound my head on a concrete wall and just die. I'm so sick of everything. I think I need to see a psychiatrist.

I feel like Bobby and I never have time to just have fun together anymore. Work is always calling me about some shit or another, or we both have homework, or we are to fucking exhausted. I want a month off from everything. To recoop. to get my head screwed on right again. I haven't had time to think about the wedding at all. I want our wedding to be sooner than a year and a half away. Everytime I tell coworkers when the date is, they all respond with "Wow...that's a long time..." And i just stand there thinking yeah, it is a long time...and I keep thinking about it. But there's no better time to do it. Unless we did it this summer, but we don't have the money and I think this summer would be too soon.

I want to just drop everything and escape somewhere where I can be alone in the mountains and try to live like waldo emerson. Frugally and naturally. Caring about how insects live. Last night at 3am when I was getting off work, I took a moment to look at the stars. I hadn't been able to look at them, or even remember they were there in so long. There is SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE than FUCKING AMC! I WANT TO QUIT I WANT TO QUIT I WANT TO QUIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did what I thought I never would

I got my ears pierced today. :0

I know...I never thought I would actually do it...but I'd been thinking about it recently--and when bobby bought me these gorgeous blue gemmed heart stud earrings for Christmas---it was decided that I would do it---eventually. So-I finally did it last thursday. It really didn't hurt at all.. I was surprised...It just feels like a quick sharp pressure and that's it. It's awesome and only cost me $40 bucks at claires. It is slightly annoying having to clean them 3 times a day though...

So get this--you'll all probably think I'm kidding...but for Valentine's Day, Bobby HANDMADE me a card--complete with felt, construction paper, glittery letters, ribbon, and a handwritten message. HOLY CRAP! It was seriously the most dearest card/note I've ever gotten from him. It's the cutest thing ever! I love him so much! He's the silliest man alive.. :P

Open Caskets

So Friday night I accidentally locked an employee in the building..so I had to go back and open the gate for her. OOOPS!! I had never done that before...but it was Brianna Wuensch, so she wasn't pissed off or anything..

When I got home I suddenly had a swooping thought go thru my head of the three funerals I attended to last year. Two of them open casket, and one closed and a memorial service was given. The two that were open casket, did not look a thing like they did when they were alive. I cannot stand looking at open caskets anymore. It frightens me beyond belief. Thinking of Aaron Wuensch (Brianna's brother) while he was alive and having just talked to him the week before he died. Seeing his face all solomn, shrunken, and powdery grey. Smelling like some sort of chemical. His hands were rock hard. He was not anything like he was in life. I cannot stand to see myself that way when I'm gone. If anyone survives me when I die...please have me in a CLOSED casket. I don't want anyone remembering me any other way than how I was when I was alive. It's horrific and haunting seeing someone gone and cold, but dressed as if they were alive. It is so creepy and unrealistic.

Pictures

So, Bobby and I had been wanting to get professional pictures taken ever since we got together, and we FINALLY got around to doing so. Here's the three that we like best, there are a few others, but they don't look as good ;). I will be sending you all wallets of the last image on here, and I'm sending mom&bill, and dad an 8x10 of that (so they'll be happy ;) ) These are not our engagement photos...we'll be taking those later this year...just so you know. Hope you like!

Tax Return!!

I adore filing for tax returns w/o being claimed. And having had paid for my schooling last year. I'm getting over $3000 back from the government! I'm so excited!! That can pay for my wedding dress :) :) :)