what to make of it

Bobby's grandfather just passed away this morning. I'd never seen Bobby cry before...:(

there will be a funeral for him in Virginia on Tuesday, i'm trying to work both of our schedules around so we can drive up there and be back by thursday. I'm not sure if i'm going to be able to go up there w/ him since i'm working tues-thurs, but i'm going to try.

I've nevert dealt with a death before...so--this is kind of awkward and i'm not sure how i should comfort bobby. He and his grandpa were pretty close.

...anyhow, just keep him and his family in your thoughts this week.

<3

THE BEST SMELLING LOTION EVER CREATED!!

Buy it. Now.

apartment pictures

Bobby had some girl make this awesome butterfly balloon bracelet for me while at Buffalo Wild Wings MMMMM! YUM! :)

This is our built in bookcase. its got some nifty books and random stuff on it :)

This is the bedroom...dresser...and there's a window. Yay!
Took a picture of the sink in the bathroom. I caught myself in my penguin pj pants :P
The bed. woot. i love the kyo pillow and the GIANT teddy bear bobby got me for vday ;)
This is the living room...before the entertainment center...before the new set of couches..before the coffee table...before we unpacked a single thing :P
The kitchen counter...once we got our first set of groceries! woot! ...you can see our washer dryer in the closet there :P
The other half of the kitchen. woot microwave, oven, and fridge!
Bobby and I went to a gun show in Ft. Worth with his Dad Tom, and his Dad's girlfriend Lynne
Me and Bob in the car about to go to the gun show! hooray!
Still waiting in the car to go to the gun show :D

As promised...these are kind of old photos of when we first moved in

... we now have some new furniture and i'll take some new photos once i've cleaned up a bit ;)

medical bills

i. don't. like. money.

Going to see this other OB/GYN is going to be bloody expensive! They require their payments in full and upfront. wtf! what about my insurance policy that i pay over a hundred bucks a month for?! ARGH!!! Why must i waste my entire college savings on a car and my health! I'm saving about 300 bucks a month...but having spent 4000 on a car that i desperately needed....ive only got 500 in my savings... and my deductible for health insurance is 500 bucks...if i pay for this..i'm not going to have money for college! i'm financially screwed! **extremely frustrated!!**

why the hell did my car have to die on me?! if i can't get anything out of the fafsa...i may have to wait a whole nother bloody semester before i can start! I'M SO PISSED OFF!!!! i NEED to start school NOW! this is so lame....

if my car didn't die..i'd be set for my entire community college! argh! and if it weren't for this medical bill i'm gonna have to pay for--i'd at least have enough money for a years worth of community college. >:(

All i can do is not waste a penny on unneccessary things anymore...and MAYBE just MAYBE i can have enough again for a years worth of college. ...this sucks...ALOT!

...i don't know if i can afford this road trip now...

Road Trip!!

So...

Bob and I are going on a road trip. In June. ALL THE WAY TO THE NORTHWEST!! WOOOOOO!!!! :P haha. It's going be awesome!! :) We'll be making a stop in Utah for a day or two to be with tiff, char and dave. We'll also make a stop in "Coloradotah" to see Nikki at her national monument :D.

I can't wait to FINALLY see everyone again!! I miss you all horribly!!!! I feel i've taken family for granted. :/ Seeing Bobby with his family every other day to just see them for dinner, or to go on errands with them...it's really made me homesick for you all!! :( I know, i keep saying that i miss you guys along almost every entry..but it sucks ALOT being so far from you all and having no family contact and not seeing you..ever. I wish we could all just live near eachother (within an hour drive) later on in life and we can all be crazy cool together and keep eachother close. :)

Any how ...some places I insist on taking Bobby to see (he's never been to the west):

Dinosaur National Monument--Colorado:






Crater Lake:



Mt. Rainer





Yupp...these are just a few gorgeous places to see :) and on the way back we'll probably stop by arches national park in utah :)

It's going to be a blast :D

The Thornbirds

FINALLY finished The Thornbirds!! EXCELLENT NOVEL!! :) The ending was so amazing and different from the mini-series. So many more things went on. I highly recommend this book to everybody who hasn't read it already :D

YAY... in other news--i've got my appt set up w/ some other doctor in Plano for the other testings i'm gonna have to take. :( i'm not too nervous about it...

Still without a car. Thinking about getting something around $5000. I can pay for over 4/5 of that. Perhaps i'll wait till i've got that much saved up and then buy a car around that price. ( I don't have the credit right now for financing....Still slowly building that up...)

Apartment life is good. I don't like the fire alarms in our place though. They are sooo HYPERsensitive and go off whenever we have something cooking on the stove and its soooo loud! :[

I bought a vacuum today. :) now to assemble it... hmmm.

I'm really surprised that Bobby and I can still live the way we are with all these problems like with my health, my no car situation, and still buying some new things for the place. We're just slowly building our regime that is our apartment. :D

I do feel bored though. Just w/o a car I can't go anywhere. So, i'm at the apartment most of the time when i'm not at work.

I got my prescription for my BC. yay. That cost a whopping 55 bucks for ONE MONTH'S worth of pills....>_<>

I'm thinking of getting my wisdom teeth out in the fall now more than likely b/c of all of these other financial problems we have to get through somehow.

Maybe I'll get glasses/contacts this summer??? ...My vision is worsening still... it's a heck of a lot harder to read things that are a few feet away from me.

Haha. I introduced Bob to Bjork the other day...he thinks she's crazy. Of course. :P (Oh well, at least he likes Fruits Basket ;)

I really want to see Charmie and Tiffy in Utah. I haven't seen them in THE LONGEST time and i miss them!!! :( :( Probably in May I might fly up there on my own. (and then later introduce you to Bobby--i really want to catch up with you guys!)

We have cable and Internet now. Huzzah! it's kind of expensive..about $80 bucks a month. (not split two ways) But I must say, it sure is nice to have the internet and not have to sit in some odd corner of the apartment to try to get one bar of signal from a neighbor.

Bobby and I are doing well in our relationship. We did get in a little huff this past week...but, no biggie--we resolved it.

Anyhow...life is fantastic, despite the crap that keeps getting thrown our way.

I still haven't heard a peep from Dad at all. Has anyone???

I'd best take my daily walk down to the mailboxes and see if anything came for us today :)

Love you all!! :D

abnormal PAP

...ok, i'm getting really scared.

I had my pap two weeks ago, and just got a call from Dr. Roberts 15 minutes ago.

I had an abnormal PAP and i have to go see another doctor to take other tests. Apparently, theres some sort of inflammation. And, there's just been a pain in my right ovary for awhile and i'm really really worried.

The test for HPV came out negative and the cells aren't cancerous, but still--i'm really afraid.

I don't know what to do.

I'm gonna call mom tomorrow and ask her about this.

I would call her now, but i'm freaking out too much and can't calm down.

I'll keep you all posted....